( fast forward to two days later, when aventurine is still wondering if this had been a good idea. not because he doesn't trust ratio (he does, a little too much), but because there's always something about being too much in the presence of another person outside of work that bothers him. the idea that he might be an inconvenience, or a burden, or an annoyance - and with ratio being the way he is, well. it makes sense he's just a little bit anxious about this whole thing.
still, there he is, in front of the door to ratio's apartment. he has been there, for a good ten minutes at the very least, battling through his own anxiety, all to just manage a knock on his door. who would ever have thought the very aventurine of stratagems could act so vulnerable.
another full two minutes later, and he does finally knock. open up, doc, he's all smiles and nonchalance like he hadn't just been second guessing his entire life mere seconds before. )
[ To mortify Aventurine even more, Ratio has been watching him from the security camera outside his place for awhile now. He was alerted of his presence, and found it odd how the other would simply pace and hover outside his door without knocking or saying a word. But because of the nature of his visit -- essentially, a medical examination where he would possibly get little in return, Ratio didn't think calling him out would be appropriate. If Aventurine was getting cold feet, then he was free to leave, of course.
It's a surprise he does decide to knock in the end, so with absolutely no hurry at all, Ratio approaches the door and opens it for him, making way for him to enter. ]
You're late. [ He closes the door behind the both of them. ] The worst part is you would've been on time had you knocked the moment you arrived.
Haha... You saw that? ( busted. ) I had to prepare myself mentally to see your nice place.
( which is a total lie, of course, but aventurine still does look around the place. it's nice and clean like he thought, and though that only makes him want to keep his hands and body to himself not to occupy too much space with his own... whatever it is..., he still has to act like he's not being affected by his own self-doubts. )
It does scream 'Ratio', by the way. I wonder how much pictures of your apartment would sell for if I put them up for auction?
[ He frowns, fighting the urge to roll his eyes before pointing the way to a room nearby. It's true his place is very much suited to his own tastes, and he realizes his aesthetic sense is not the same as... most people, but nobody truly visits him and even if they did, he'd have no reason to change his style just to fit someone else's preferences. ]
This way. If you're ready to begin, I don't see why we should waste any time with pointless pleasantries.
[ Which is a mean way to say, we're friends and we know each other well enough that we don't have to resort to small talk to make things less awkward. ]
Yes sir, yes sir. Are you always this bossy with your patients too?
( he doesn't even quite consider it as bossy in the least, but again, it just suits the character. off goes his coat, on the way to the appointed room, and his waistcoat, once inside. his eyes do exactly the same as before, scanning around out of curiosity far more than he's doing it out of caution.
not like he hasn't done any of these procedures before, and again. he would gladly put his life on ratio's hands, either way. )
[ The room came with the house when he got it: it was originally a guest room, but Ratio had mostly repurposed it as an office -- there was a desk near a wall with neatly organized medical tools, a cabinet filled with vials and small containers, and the bed was now a glorified table where he kept a single pile of books near the headboard.
The chair on the desk had been turned to face away from it, and Ratio motions for Aventurine to sit there. There's another chair nearby, a rolling chair, that Ratio takes for himself. ]
I'd like to start by hearing more about you. Is there anything of medical relevancy you believe I should know about before we start?
( something to think deeply about, as aventurine takes his assigned seat. that's not something he has really thought of much in the least, considering his penchant for suicidal tendencies, but he tries to recollect what had been said all those years ago, when he first arrived in the ipc.
ah, actually — )
The only thing I can think of is that I'm slightly underweight, or at least bordering close to it. Last doctor I went to said I gained a considerable amount of weight since the last time they did a check-up on me, so I'm healthy but could do better. Other than that, no allergies or anything. I'm also not on any medication.
[ As Aventurine speaks, Ratio reaches for a pair of glasses and a notebook on the desk, opening it and writing down some keywords for himself, for future reference. Aventurine doesn't say anything he doesn't already know, he could tell as soon as his layers came off that the guy was underweight. It's all pretty standard, but then his hand stops scribbling when he mentions a "last doctor".
He lets him finish speaking before raising his face to look at him with a slight frown. ]
( oh. that's the first time he has seen ratio wearing glasses... aventurine smiles a little too himself, because it suits him so well it's almost silly. mandatory doctor uniform much? well, he looks extra handsome, so he's not complaining. )
Hmm? Yeah. It's standard procedure for all IPC employees on the frontlines, at least, and you know how I am. ( read: extremely reckless with his life. ) It has been... maybe a year or so since that, though.
[ ... And this was only a year ago? That's so recent. Much more recent than Ratio thought. He closes the notebook with a hard snap while unintentionally glaring at him. ]
If you have a doctor already, they should already know all there is to know about your body. In which case this meeting just lost, essentially, all meaning.
I don't have a doctor. I'm forced to see one to make sure I don't die from a wound or any other injuries. It's nothing like what you want to do to me today.
( again, standard procedure for frontline employees. aventurine has enough people who don't like him and want him dead that have most definitely tried to shoot him, and while they haven't succeeded in killing him, he has been shot on different parts of his body. )
I told you I only had an X-ray once, right? I meant it. And that was a long time ago already, so I wouldn't say our meeting today is any pointless. Don't you trust me?
[ "What you want to do to me today" sounds sketchy when said like that, but Ratio is not in the mood to try and find out if that was intentionally salacious or not. He looks at him without answering for a good few seconds before his gaze lowers onto his chest, thinking about just how reckless he is on a regular basis, and how his story, ultimately, makes sense.
He sighs, opening his notebook again as he looks away from him. ]
... Take off any top layers you have left. Have you had any recent wounds, or encounters that endangered your life via any part of your body that I could check?
( there we go. though aventurine would much rather not occupy too much space, he sets his coat and waistcoat on an empty side of the table, so he can remove his shirt, gloves, and jewelry.
as expected, of course, his body is littered in scars. a couple gunshot scars, a few burn marks, several different cut scars of varying sizes. his back is admittedly far worse, marred in several old slashing scars - but aventurine hardly seems to be self-conscious or shy about any of them, and sits back down once properly undressed off all his uppergarments. )
Aside from Penacony? None so serious. Oh, and as you can see, I didn't get a scar from that Emanator at all. At least not physically. I had nightmares for at least a week after that, but I'm doing better now.
[ It's strange, to see his naked skin like this. He adorns himself in so much opulence it's almost as if he wanted people to think he was overcompensating for the way he grew up. Still, his scars marring his otherwise beautiful skin are tougher to look at than Ratio anticipated. Of course he knew there would be some marks from previous dangerous encounters, but this amount was... almost overkill.
He rolls his chair closer to Aventurine's, reaching to touch at his collarbone, his eyes fixed on his scars. ]
None of these are recent.
[ But they all must have been painful. Every single one. He's quiet as he continues to clinically examine him. He's done this many times in the past with many different people, but there's something about it being Aventurine that makes this much harder on him than he thought. ]
Do you find self-preservation difficult, or are you better at it now than you were when you got the majority of these?
( and there's the pity most people give him. at least aventurine is used to it all, and he doesn't quite mind it from ratio. let him touch, if he wants. even his scars is something he's entirely too detached about. )
I don't exactly go out of my way to get hurt like this, you know. ( a little bit of a non-answer, but aventurine still manages a smile. ) It's easier now that I'm in the IPC, if you really want to know. Like you just said, none of them are recent. Doesn't that say a lot?
[ It's better for Ratio that Aventurine considers this the usual pity he gets and doesn't consider that Ratio never shows concern like this for anyone. As long as a barrier remains between them, then that's fine. ]
It says you were a reckless fool, but that doesn't mean you’re cured of it.
[ He rolls his chair closer, and his palm reaches lower, to his chest, right above his heart, feeling the skin there — smooth even through all the blemishes. ]
Injuries aside, your body seems healthier than expected. Somehow soft to the touch despite your scars. Is there a reason for this?
( because no suicidal ideation is cured so easily. he might be more willing to cherish his life now, but old habits die hard. recklessness takes shape in many ways, and the deep emptiness in his chest will take long to be filled to the brim.
ratio's touch is welcome, at least. aventurine closes his eyes in response. )
Hmm, not that I know? Jade did get me some balm for my scars years ago, but I don't use it anymore. I guess my skin's just used to all the rough work. You think that's special?
[ So it's thanks to Jade that he's like this? That's... acceptable, he supposes. He has no opinion on Jade, positive or negative. She does her thing, he does his own, and as long as they don't get in each other's way, neutral is as good as it'll get. But something about her helping Aventurine with his injuries doesn't sit right with him. What did she want in exchange for it, he wonders? Hopefully money and... nothing else.
His skin is truly soft despite the blemishes, and it's precisely the kind of thing he wouldn't have noticed if he had worn surgical gloves from the start, but now he wonders if Aventurine would prefer it that way -- more clinical and clean and less personal, in a way. ]
I think getting used to roughness is a skill on it's own, but nothing I've never seen before. It's the relative softness that concerns me the most: almost like a creature with your skin was not meant to survive harsh environments, and yet, here you are.
[ he moves his palm up to his collarbone, looking at him intently through his glasses. ]
( not meant to survive it, huh. maybe that's it, considering the whole history surrounding the avgins. prejudiced against, discriminated, exiled to a desert and forgotten even by the people they considered heroes from beyond the stars. so severely unlucky, it's almost an irony. that his skin has gotten to this point, isn't it all almost too perfect, in an unfortunate way?
aventurine laughs a little, under his breath. )
Haha, I guess that's lucky of me, huh? ( because laughing at his own expense is mandatory, as always. ) It would probably make my job a little harder if my skin got all ugly from the scars, so I guess I'm thankful for it.
( and for a quick moment, aventurine opens his eyes to look at ratio, before he closes them again, a smile on his face. )
Do I look uncomfortable? Touch away, I don't mind.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
still, there he is, in front of the door to ratio's apartment. he has been there, for a good ten minutes at the very least, battling through his own anxiety, all to just manage a knock on his door. who would ever have thought the very aventurine of stratagems could act so vulnerable.
another full two minutes later, and he does finally knock. open up, doc, he's all smiles and nonchalance like he hadn't just been second guessing his entire life mere seconds before. )
no subject
It's a surprise he does decide to knock in the end, so with absolutely no hurry at all, Ratio approaches the door and opens it for him, making way for him to enter. ]
You're late. [ He closes the door behind the both of them. ] The worst part is you would've been on time had you knocked the moment you arrived.
no subject
( which is a total lie, of course, but aventurine still does look around the place. it's nice and clean like he thought, and though that only makes him want to keep his hands and body to himself not to occupy too much space with his own... whatever it is..., he still has to act like he's not being affected by his own self-doubts. )
It does scream 'Ratio', by the way. I wonder how much pictures of your apartment would sell for if I put them up for auction?
( he's joking!! )
no subject
This way. If you're ready to begin, I don't see why we should waste any time with pointless pleasantries.
[ Which is a mean way to say, we're friends and we know each other well enough that we don't have to resort to small talk to make things less awkward. ]
no subject
( he doesn't even quite consider it as bossy in the least, but again, it just suits the character. off goes his coat, on the way to the appointed room, and his waistcoat, once inside. his eyes do exactly the same as before, scanning around out of curiosity far more than he's doing it out of caution.
not like he hasn't done any of these procedures before, and again. he would gladly put his life on ratio's hands, either way. )
So? Which one are we doing first?
no subject
The chair on the desk had been turned to face away from it, and Ratio motions for Aventurine to sit there. There's another chair nearby, a rolling chair, that Ratio takes for himself. ]
I'd like to start by hearing more about you. Is there anything of medical relevancy you believe I should know about before we start?
no subject
( something to think deeply about, as aventurine takes his assigned seat. that's not something he has really thought of much in the least, considering his penchant for suicidal tendencies, but he tries to recollect what had been said all those years ago, when he first arrived in the ipc.
ah, actually — )
The only thing I can think of is that I'm slightly underweight, or at least bordering close to it. Last doctor I went to said I gained a considerable amount of weight since the last time they did a check-up on me, so I'm healthy but could do better. Other than that, no allergies or anything. I'm also not on any medication.
no subject
He lets him finish speaking before raising his face to look at him with a slight frown. ]
... You went to another doctor before?
no subject
Hmm? Yeah. It's standard procedure for all IPC employees on the frontlines, at least, and you know how I am. ( read: extremely reckless with his life. ) It has been... maybe a year or so since that, though.
no subject
If you have a doctor already, they should already know all there is to know about your body. In which case this meeting just lost, essentially, all meaning.
[ Is he jealous? Maybe so. ]
no subject
I don't have a doctor. I'm forced to see one to make sure I don't die from a wound or any other injuries. It's nothing like what you want to do to me today.
( again, standard procedure for frontline employees. aventurine has enough people who don't like him and want him dead that have most definitely tried to shoot him, and while they haven't succeeded in killing him, he has been shot on different parts of his body. )
I told you I only had an X-ray once, right? I meant it. And that was a long time ago already, so I wouldn't say our meeting today is any pointless. Don't you trust me?
no subject
He sighs, opening his notebook again as he looks away from him. ]
... Take off any top layers you have left. Have you had any recent wounds, or encounters that endangered your life via any part of your body that I could check?
no subject
as expected, of course, his body is littered in scars. a couple gunshot scars, a few burn marks, several different cut scars of varying sizes. his back is admittedly far worse, marred in several old slashing scars - but aventurine hardly seems to be self-conscious or shy about any of them, and sits back down once properly undressed off all his uppergarments. )
Aside from Penacony? None so serious. Oh, and as you can see, I didn't get a scar from that Emanator at all. At least not physically. I had nightmares for at least a week after that, but I'm doing better now.
no subject
He rolls his chair closer to Aventurine's, reaching to touch at his collarbone, his eyes fixed on his scars. ]
None of these are recent.
[ But they all must have been painful. Every single one. He's quiet as he continues to clinically examine him. He's done this many times in the past with many different people, but there's something about it being Aventurine that makes this much harder on him than he thought. ]
Do you find self-preservation difficult, or are you better at it now than you were when you got the majority of these?
no subject
I don't exactly go out of my way to get hurt like this, you know. ( a little bit of a non-answer, but aventurine still manages a smile. ) It's easier now that I'm in the IPC, if you really want to know. Like you just said, none of them are recent. Doesn't that say a lot?
no subject
It says you were a reckless fool, but that doesn't mean you’re cured of it.
[ He rolls his chair closer, and his palm reaches lower, to his chest, right above his heart, feeling the skin there — smooth even through all the blemishes. ]
Injuries aside, your body seems healthier than expected. Somehow soft to the touch despite your scars. Is there a reason for this?
[ Like skincare? ]
no subject
( because no suicidal ideation is cured so easily. he might be more willing to cherish his life now, but old habits die hard. recklessness takes shape in many ways, and the deep emptiness in his chest will take long to be filled to the brim.
ratio's touch is welcome, at least. aventurine closes his eyes in response. )
Hmm, not that I know? Jade did get me some balm for my scars years ago, but I don't use it anymore. I guess my skin's just used to all the rough work. You think that's special?
*comes back 100 years later w starbucks*
His skin is truly soft despite the blemishes, and it's precisely the kind of thing he wouldn't have noticed if he had worn surgical gloves from the start, but now he wonders if Aventurine would prefer it that way -- more clinical and clean and less personal, in a way. ]
I think getting used to roughness is a skill on it's own, but nothing I've never seen before. It's the relative softness that concerns me the most: almost like a creature with your skin was not meant to survive harsh environments, and yet, here you are.
[ he moves his palm up to his collarbone, looking at him intently through his glasses. ]
... If you'd like me to stop, tell me.
welcome back!
aventurine laughs a little, under his breath. )
Haha, I guess that's lucky of me, huh? ( because laughing at his own expense is mandatory, as always. ) It would probably make my job a little harder if my skin got all ugly from the scars, so I guess I'm thankful for it.
( and for a quick moment, aventurine opens his eyes to look at ratio, before he closes them again, a smile on his face. )
Do I look uncomfortable? Touch away, I don't mind.